Froth Slosh B'Gosh

WoodyAllenJesus

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Festivus!

Christmas Shopping Aggression

I dislike shopping.  I want to get in, get out, and get home where I can lounge about in my PJ's and watch My Local Sports Team on the television.  As such, I try and know exactly what I want to get everybody on my "nice" list for Christmas, and where I'm going to get those items. 

List in hand, I headed to the shopping district closest to my route home from work, figuring a Wednesday evening would be less crowded than a weekend a couple of weeks before Christmas. 

Things went pretty smoothly, until I hit the mall's main concourse.  There, vendors in temporary booths lurk.  Most of clerks staffing these kiosks are just bored, waiting for someone to approach their wares and ring up the sale.  But some are staffed by the more predatory, aggressive hard sales types.  Those clerks are usually selling useless, overpriced junk like Power bands, turnip twaddlers, or chiropractic services.

As I made my way towards my next destination, I was approached by a sales guy trying to get me to feel some gel thingy he had in his hand (No, it was not Jerry Sandusky).  To give this guy credit, when I told him I wasn't interested, he backed off.  Fine.  I understand that these guys work on commission, and part of that involves trying find an opening to make a pitch, but "no" means "no."  So thank you, Mr. Gelthingy Representative, for taking my polite "no" in stride.

It was the next guy who got my bile rising.  "Have I got a deal for you!' he bellowed from across the concourse. 

"No Thanks."

"But I can save you money!" 

"I'm not interested in what you're selling."

"You don't even KNOW what I'm selling! (Yes, I do, you were over at the Verizon kiosk, and you're wearing a Verizon polo shirt, so you're either selling a phone, a cellular contract, or a data plan.  You don't have a phone in your hand to show me, so its a cell phone plan or data services.)

"No thank you" as I keep walking.

This toolbag continued following me, "Just give me a few minutes, I can save you moneeeeeyyyy!"

Finally I rounded on him "Look, I said NO!  Now leave me alone, stop bothering me!"  I was a bit loud, people stared. 

" Merry Christmas" he snorted, and he obviously didn't mean it.  I just kept walking.